Madison Hash House Harriers

January 20, 2007

HASH HISTORY - RUN #1535 - SLOW HAND's Deja Vu Hash in the Brooklyn Wildlife Area (aka BWLA)

Reported by MILK BONEHER

About 20 hashers (NUTFARMER, ABR, PIP, STROKES, READY, LORENA CARROT, MAYORHOLIO, RD, HALF-CRACKED, STIFFY, BEER NUTS, WILL HO, MILK BONEHER, JERRY ASS TRICK, BEARABOOBS, UPLOADER, UNDERTOKER, COLONEL MUSTARD, COW POKER, DIEGO FTGPS), four dogs and one New Boot, JUST PETER gathered at Brooklyn Wildlife Area for another SLOW HAND trail run. After avoiding the steaming dog #%$@…(no, not dog vomit) in the parking lot, hashers and dogs alike set out on trail. The trail was actually marked by COLONEL MUSTARD'S canine, JUST KIRBY, as yellow spots in the snow were seen more frequently than any dollop of ash-colored flour. Speaking of ashes, the hashers soon came upon a smoldering fire and LORENA CARROT exclaimed, "Weenie Roast!" Several weenies (BEER NUTS, DRIBS, CORNHOLIO, and RD) gathered to warm their weenies before continuing on trail. Over the snow and through the woods to the first alcohol check where PEES IN PUBLIC shouted, "I love the Hot Sex!" with ABR nodding in agreement. However, much to our dismay, we did not have Hot Sex…but we did have a bottle of Lemonade Schnapps that looked a lot like dog piss and tasted like it, too (based on the look on NUTFARMER'S face as he was taking the first big swig!). On-On! Through the cold, the snow, the barbed-wire, the bushes, the snow, the snow, and more of the snow…along with the WHINERS, PIP and SOGGY DEPOSITS. It wasn't long before COLONEL MUSTARD and JERRY ASS TRICK came to the rescue with the BC. As all hashers were warming themselves up with ice cold beer, SLOW HAND shouted, "Rides for a buck!" COLONEL MUSTARD's ears stood up (he must have learned this from JUST KIRBY), having thought he heard, "Rides for a fuck!" It must be noted that ICUF has been gone too long (again!). We also heard that LORENA CARROT had been in HALF-CRACKED'S pants since the beginning of the hash. Following the BC, hashers hurried along out onto the road where they were met by a Schwanz truck with a sign saying, "Now Hiring!" After seeing those weenies on trail, I doubt that any male hasher would be qualified to be a Schwanz man (well, SHOW ME would say that NUTFARMER is over-qualified for most positions!). After hearing CORNHOLIO's sauna story about how his dick once froze, we know he is under-qualified in the Schwanz department. The sauna was mighty toasty…and several toasts were made before UNDERTOKER, CORNHOLIO and MILK BONEHER raced outside to make snow angels. During ceremonies, JUST KIRBY was awarded hash shit for the steaming pile in the parking lot, and Ready's lab, JUST JORDAN was also said to have taken a shit on trail. Dribbles was also awarded hash shit for... (watermelon, watermelon!!). Short cutters were HALF CRACKED, STIFFY, COWPOKER and DIEGO; FRB's were BEARABOOBS, UNDERTOKER and COWPOKER (one OKER drinks, all OKERS drink??). JFL's were BEER NUTS, RD and EGGBEATER. There were a large number of DFL's... could it be that they have hashed all available trail in BWLA and had cum only for the beer?…BONE AGAIN, BLOWN DRY, AH SHIT, MR. RHYTHM, and LEAVE IT TO CLEAVAGE (who, by the way, is a 36C, not a 38D!). SELDOM SEENS included, WHISKEY DICK, TIGHT END, LEAVE IT TO CLEAVAGE 36C and the pregnant DOESN'T CUM SHEEP (who has obviously had unprotected Hot Sex in the recent past).

No photos submitted