Madison Hash House Harriers

February 3, 2007

HASH HISTORY - RUN #1537 - The Secret Live Hare Run

Reported by UPLOADER

As a well-bundled group of hashers including this reporter assembled in Middleton, it was apparent to all arriving that it was going to be one of the coldest hashes ever. While some decided to mill around in the Marshall Park parking lot, others huddled in the relative warmth of 3-BANGER's minivan and other vehicles. Among those braving the cold outside included COCO, who was surprisingly not wearing shorts, and TRAILER, who thought it was possible that she was wearing too much clothing. The only individual that was unfazed by the subzero temperatures was COL MUSTARD's dog KIRBY, whose fluffy coat and steaming piles of dog sh*t made it clear that he was just excited to be there. By far the most effective shield against the cold was donned by SHOW ME, who wore a NASA-approved space helmet during the entire run. The run itself was promoted as a "secret live hare run," and the hares turned out to be NUTFARMER and COW POKER, who handed out clues during various parts of the run to direct the chilly hashers where to go. The run went through some supposedly "sheltered" areas, with 2 excellent beer stops at the Bristled Boar and the Club Tavern. At one point during the run, SHOW ME and others decided to shortcut the trail by climbing up a steep, snow-covered hill. This led to SHOW ME being towed up the aforementioned hill by a human chain, and all marveled at the ingenuity of a group of hashers. One thing that went unnoticed, however, was that as the hashers struggled to decipher the rhyming clues (give some credit for creativity) out in the cold, the hares themselvesauto-hashed the entire distance. Luckily more time was spent at the beer stops than outside. On the way back to the cars, the merry, but still frigid, band of hashers took a minute to pose next to a digital sign displaying the current temperature as minus 7. READY snapped the photo as the group decided it was time to head to the on-in. At Rusty's the now-thawing group was greeted in the basement by mounds of sandwiches, some pungent onions, and legions of other hashers that were not brave (or dumb) enough to run that day. FRB honors went to yours truly UPLOADER and DRIBS, and SLOW HAND was named for short cutting, after finding a shortcut and then short-cutting the shortcut. JFL was awarded to a large group of folks who decided not to follow the hasher wearing the JFL shirt, BABY BALLS, who ironically enough was the only one not lost. Wretched Excess was given to POOP EYE for being a bit too enthusiastic in trying to grab the last cookie, while a despondent EGGBEATER received Whiner honors as he exclaimed, "this hash sucks!" The musings of EB aside, we were told to "be amazed" by this run, and this reporter certainly was amazed, not only by the vigor in which BEER NUTS seized my Bears heat, and by the resemblance of MIS'D ERECTION to RD that particular night, but mostly by the sheer number of hashers that decided to venture out that day.

Other photos (by READY)