Madison Hash House Harriers

February 10, 2007

HASH HISTORY- RUN # 1538 - ROAD BEATER's Birthday Run

Reported by UNDERTOKER

It was Friday night, and a throng of people braved the weather to actually RUN on Friday night. In attendance was the hare to be, Roadbeater. Mr. Beater swore that he knew it was going to be sub-zero with windchill and that hashers needed a relatively short course, keeping dry. Yeah right!

Saturday afternoon arrived and an even larger throng of people arrived for the run which started at Warner Park. In attendance were many grizzled veterans like Slow Hand, Strokes, RD, Mailbagger, Himalayme, and others that should have known better. Within minutes after sending us off, we were tromping through snowfields over our shoe tops. With each and every ensuing check and backcheck we strayed further and further from our cars. After passing many serviceable warm bars, we finally arrived soak and exhausted at the beer check, which was outside, in the wailing wind, in a gully that required us to tumble through the snow to obtain our prized beer. With teeth chattering, the hashers huddled in a circle fending off frostbite. Hours later, we finally arrived back to our vehicles and headed to Mr. Beaters for respite. Ahaaaaa... there lied the answers to why so many attended. Somewhere in a remote, otherwise uninhabited region of our half-brains, the veterans have this memory stimulator which triggers their drive to attend the Roadbeater Hash. The smells emanating from the kitchen where Ann (Mrs. Beater) had warm homemade lasagna and warm just baked chocolate chip cookies would plant another memory stimulator in the attendees, old and new, ensuring Roadbeater will always have hashers attend his insane runs.

On to awards! But first, a moment of cherished gossip. As it became clear to me that I was manipulated into scribing this event, NutFarmer confided in me that when under duress, he could always just pull out a newsletter article from the current hare's previous run and copy and paste it as the new story. Now, of all hares, a Roadbeater run would lend itself to this approach better than any other...but no...

The hashers thought the run sucked because there were too many stops at warm bars. Roadbeater smiled effervescently as all whined. FRB went to Undertoaker (for the 2nd time) and Mailbagger. Undertoker admitted he had not brought the shorts back because never having had them, he was sleeping in them every night. This was met with a lot of disgusting looks and a threat to burn the shorts. Short Cutting went to Strokes who somehow found his way to the top of a large uphill route, far far ahead of the pack, trying to claim he was on trail the whole time. MissedErection and Egg joined in, and one beater led to more beaters, and one erection led to another (Stiffy). JFL also went to Strokes for thinking he was on trail. Whiner went Half Crack, Will Ho CoCo Showme , and Sir Shrinks. The Shit award went to Hima for what else, yakking. Wretched Excess to #69, Fritz, and Barely who decided to keep running after the marathon hash was concluded. DFL's and sissies not wanting to run were 3 holer, Rides the Wild Stallion, and Sir Shrinks. A new award, RD Look alike AND Crazy Astronaut look alike went to Shuck & Sucks, Wet Willy, & RD himself. Autohashing and Taunting went to Rides the Wild Stallion and Mr. Rhythm. Ceremonies were wrapped up with the Masters drinking one for "just because" ; Ann drinking for the cooking, and birthday drinks for Road Beater and Show Ho Me. The party went well into the night and there were surely good stories, but whenever this reporter not being there asked if anything happened...everyone seems to be keeping tight lipped and reverting to last years dislaimer...Act like nothing happened. It must have been fun!

No photos submitted