Madison Hash House Harriers
"The Drinking Club with a Running Problem"
Founded 1977
Copyright © 2007 MH3
HASH HISTORY - RUN #1550 - Heidi Ho - Third Annual Running of the Brides /Mexican Wedding Edition
Looking radiant in her white wedding gown draped with a Mexican flag, HEIDI HO was once again the prima-briderina and hare for the Third Annual Running of the Brides or "ROTB Cinco do Mayo." It all began after an hour or so of primping, when nearly 50 running brides and a few tuxedoed grooms gathered for photos on the Memorial Union steps at Langdon Street. The pack included many new boots and seldom seens including MUDDY UDDERS, PUBIC DEFENDER, OUTER LIPS, TRACTOR, GUINNESS GIRL (taking photos), Just the Karaoke Woman and CRUSHED BOX's mom. There were some unusual outfits among al the brides, including UPLOADER as a jealous former boyfriend in a wife-beater t-shirt and baseball bat, and PUPPY POKER in the Dos Equis beer bottle outfit covered with bridal gown and veil. The pack drew only casual looks as they followed a trail lined with tiny Mexican flags across Library Mall. After a little misdirection, the trail headed through the campus for a photo op overlooking Lake Mendota before heading to Allen Centennial Gardens for a champagne check served from the back of a van by the elegantly attired JERRY ASS TRICK. The pack also found giant terracotta plant pots to play in, and a real wedding party to harass. After lots of champagne and many photos, the trail continued through campus onto the elevated walkway over Campus Drive where there was much lifting of skirts and honking of horns before continuing on to a photo op with an art cow in front of the Campus Motel where MILKBONHER unfurled a banner that read "Honeymoon Suite $69." After this, the trail headed under Campus Drive and onto the railroad tracks along University Avenue to a tequila check near the Unitarian Meeting House, again served from the back of a van by the magnificent JERRY ASS TRICK. After the tequila check, the trail headed south across University Avenue to the Res-Erection Cemetery for another photo op with another banner from MILKBONHER that appropriately read "Till Death Do Us Part." The point-to-point trail ended at Hoyt Park, and by this time, the temperature was dropping slightly. After shuttling everyone to get their cars and jackets, the On-On wedding reception commenced. There was more champagne, plenty of beer and great Cinco de Mayo food prepared by the hare and co-hares. Ceremundos began with down-downs for the hares, HEIDI HO, WILL HO, MILKBONHER, JERRY ASS TRICK, DRIBS and RIDES followed by FRBs (front running brides) LORENA CARROT and AH SHIT. The SCBs (short cutting beers) were PUPPY POKER and RETURN TO GENDER while the hash shit went to BABY BALLS, MS'D ERECTION, MONKEY, STOOLIE and UNDERTOKER for dressing like men. Best brides were WET WILLIE (his dress fit perfectly), MOUSE BOY (for his cross cultural harem-bride and groom outfit), STROKES (for looking like a grandmother) and BLOWN DRY (as the Cinco de Priest). The best Cinco de Mayo outfit award went to BEERNUTS the mariachi boy and DRIBS for his giant wedding sombrero and pancho. BABY BALLS was judged to be "Ready for the PROM" in his a frilly prom-like tuxedo. The angriest former boyfriend award went to UPLOADER while the FMLYMI went to MS'D ERECTION. Then it was time for seldom seens PUBIC DEFENDER and TRACTOR, and new boots Just Bobbi made cum by MILKBONHER, Just Jill and Just Bella (carrying Just Barbie) made cum by LORENA, Just Lori and Just Karen made cum by PUBIC DEFENDER and Just Michelle made cum by TRACTOR. The JFL appeared to go to SOGGY and 3 BANGHER, and DFL went to MR RHYTHM who showed up late in civilian clothing like nothing special was going on. Finally there was a gang down-down for the wretched excess of running the Lake Monona 20K earlier in the day for TRAILER, HERBAWHORE, READY, SAMORI, CO-CO, HEAVE HO, BONE AGAIN and maybe others. There was a futile attempt to get all HOs to drink but there were too many present.