Madison Hash House Harriers
"The Drinking Club with a Running Problem"
Founded 1977
Copyright © 2007 MH3
HASH HISTORY - HASH RUN #1558 - The Annual RED DRESS Run - EGGBEATER
About 60 red dress clad hashers showed up for the Annual Red Dress Run that started at Whitetail Ridge Park on the north side. EGG BEATER claimed to be the hare for this run and preannounced that this would be a typical eggshiggy event with lots of beer checks. As the run progressed, none of this appeared to be true. If you blinked at the appropriate time, you missed the shiggy, and EGG BEATER was only seen assisting with the beer checks, all both of them. The trail started well and soon went through the nearby mobile home park and deviated in a devious manner onto, over and through railroad tracks and a tiny bit of shiggy. Then it was an elevated "Red Alert" at the Dane County Airport when the pack arrived and was immediately scolded by a deputy sheriff who said scornfully, and in a manner that made it seem like she was familiar with the hash, "Don't ever do this again!" After checking the baggage area of the airport, the pack soon found EGG BEATER behind a huge building on a bicycle pulling one of those baby carts. In the baby cart, EGG had little baby kegs of beer for the first beer check. From here it was on to the second beer check near Warner Park, again with little baby kegs from the baby cart. After regrouping it was time for the traditional run through the Rhythm and Booms crowd. After crossing the park a few times everyone noted that we almost set a record for running past the greatest number of staked-out, empty tarps. (That record was set the year of the big Rain and No Booms.) Apparently the actual people were a little late this year. Aside from screaming and running away in fear, the best comment from a kid was, "Hey mom, some of those men in women's dresses are men!" The finale at the park was a run through the Duck Pond during a Mallards game, and photos with Daffy Drake. Then it was on to TRAILER's place for the On-On where there was plenty of great food and a keg of Bells Ale. Ceremonies were chaotic as usual with our own fireworks provided by the neighbor kids and some special awards for the special event. Assisting EGG The Hare were TRAILER, JELLY and WILL HO and among the characterizations of the run was, "That mile to the airport is much more interesting when you drive it." EGG immediately did a second down-down for attempting to convince everyone that two beer checks constitutes "lots" of beer checks. The FRB was LUCY BALLS while COW POKER, POUND 69 and BABY BALLS were JFL. Then it was the "Duck Me Like You Mean It" award for LORENA CARROT, MOREMEN and CLITIGATOR for their performance at the Duck Pond while the SCBs were ZAMBONER, STOKES and PIP. This was followed by The Best Guy in a Red Dress Award for MONKEY, STIFFY. 3 HOLER and CUM KITTY KITTY??? The Worst Tan Line Award went to COW POKER, POOP EYE, 3 HOLER and STROKES, while the Best Dressed But Not All in Red went to BEER NUTS, TRAILER and FERGIE. The award for Longest Distance Traveled (and visitors) went to RUDE YARD, CASTRATTI, HEAVY PETTING and WHITE CLIFFS all from Cairo, Egypt, IT'S TOO SOFT from Chicago and our own ICUF all the way from Alaska. The Cairo visitors had some special songs so check the web site for these. The Very Best Red Dress Award went to X-PILES, MOREMEN, ZAMBONER, JELLY BOOBS, 3 HOLER and CUM KITTY KITTY (who made her own tasseled jiggly dress). AH SHIT stood in for RD and did the Sex Pot dance. DFL went to SHOW ME, MS'D ERECTION and MOUSE BEATER and EGG was awarded hash shit for the trail to the airport. COL MUSTARD was able to finally articulate his Yank My Doodle song - he's been trying this for years. The FMLYMI went to CLITIGATOR, LIKES IT, HALF CRACKED, ORJAZZIM and ORAL DEATH. New Boots were Just Andrea made cum by LIKES IT, Just Angela made cum by the Cairoeans, Just Kelly made cum by himself and Just Mark who just came... he blew a tire while biking during the run and was named BUSTED RUBBER. WET WILLIE and SOGGY DEPOSITS were awarded... just because... and COL MUSTARD for his birthday. STOOLIE, KAKA, BEER NUTS, UPLOADER, READY and MONKEY got the whiner award while CUM KITTY KITTY, 3 HOLER and NUT FARMER got wretched excess. TRAILER was recognized for her bad judgment in hosting us at her home and 3 BANGHER got the Super-Double-Triple DFL for showing up as ceremonies concluded. Finally STROKES led everyone in a fine rendition of Swing Low Sweet Chariot.