Madison Hash House Harriers

July 14, 2007

HASH HISTORY - HASH RUN #1560 - HALF CRACKED's 40th Birthday party

You would think that for such an important event as a 40th birthday run, that hare HALF CRACKED and STIFFY would be spending the morning buying supplies, preparing food, scouting out the run or laying trail. But you would be wrong. Instead they decided to go for a 40 mile bike ride up in Pardeeville. Afterwards, they hung out at a bar drinking and eating. Sometime around 3 PM or so, they decided it was time to be getting back to Madison. Upon getting home, they discovered that they did not have any flour. Luckily they found a partial bag of corn meal in the cupboard. And even though Half Cracked was adamant about this hash not having any theme and she barely had time to toss a few splashes of corn meal in the general location of the trail, she did have time to get dressed up like a princess, including wearing a matching tiara. Not surprising then on the run that the hare looked at her own trail and muttered "I'm not sure what I had in mind here". A group led by LORENA CARROT and WET WILLIE tried to short cut around a building and not only had to wade through a stream but had to scale a 45 degree incline. Smart. At the Beer Check, in addition to the beer, there was Vodka lemonade. Then it was more or less back to the cars and out to Stiffy's condo. Dinner was build your own burritos which the three dainty chicks from Cairo determined could be eaten only by shoving it into your mouth fast before anything fell out. Out on the deck, BABY BALLS got a lap dance from his dog. Perhaps because of the Vodka lemonade, it turned into "True Confessions" night as ABR admitted that he likes vegetarian pizza, EGGBEATER professed a fondness for musicals, MONKEY BOY shared that in the privacy of his own home he likes to dress up in 3 piece suit, and 3 BANGHER said she really, really, really likes Vodka Lemonade. Then HC opened some presents including a personal vibrator/personal massager that had Stiffy mystified as to the How and the Why (but he seemed to know the Who and the Where). TRAILER TRASH won the Princess and the Pee contest. There was a rare appearance by ULTRA SMUT who very much wanted to be at this special event but was shocked to discover that he had confused Half Cracked with someone else. With BEER NUTS leading ceremonies, SAMORI SEX and PUPPY POKER sensed disaster and slipped out the door. CLITAGATOR was assigned the task of selecting who would be in the Ball Song. She made sure she picked Half Cracked. Who? Half Cracked! Half Cracked! So HC was in all three parts of the song. 2 friends of Stiffy showed up at the condo, but no one really wrote anything down (vodka lemonade?), so let's call him JUST BLUTO and her JUST BUBBLES. STROKES did the Little Sexpot Song and had way too much fun. POOPEYE, PIP and others insisted on sitting behind the ceremonies and sang faster than the crowd in front of ceremonies so the rest of the songs sounded like the wordless/tuneless song. ZAMBONER got the hash shit and LIKES IT got the JFL shirt. And then the crowd started to disperse to the Fete de Marquette and zydeco music, to the Harley Davidson Party (old potbellied men in bandanas ogling young women in bikinis and bandanas) and the rest started to drift off into vodka lemonade induced nightmares. But just then, NUT FARMER showed up as ceremonies were concluding, so we began all over again. You would think that for such an important event as a 40th birthday run, that hare HALF CRACKED and STIFFY would be spending the morning buying supplies, preparing food, scouting out the run or laying trail...

Photos by Eggbeater

Photos by Ready