Madison Hash House Harriers

September 15, 2007

HASH HISTORY - HASH RUN #1569 - CRUSHED BOX Naughty School Girl Run

2nd Anal Naughty School Girl Run as told by Milk Boneher

It was a crisp but sunny fall day as about 30 educated hashers gathered at Haen FAMILY park on Madison's fashionable west side. There were more plaid skirts than you could shake a ruler at and at least one very tall, very sexy Sun Prairie cheerleader. I think we've seen this cheerleader before! Hares UPLOADER, CRUSHED BOX, MILK BONEHER, WET WILLE, SOGGY DEPOSITS and JERRY ASS TRICK made NEW BOOTS, JUST RUSTON and JUST PHYLLIS, cum to the head of the class to hear the day's lesson. The class was instructed that getting a BC on your report card is not a bad thing. In fact, it is much more desirable to have a BC at least once daily. The class ventured out on trail toward Mineral Point Road, disappointed to find out that the first BC was not at Pizza Hut, the second BC was not at O'Grady's, and the third BC was not at Old Chicago. The traffic was more than pleased to see so many naughty school girls out for gym class and much honking was heard (and maybe a few cat-calls!). What would a naughty school girl run be without a stop at a high school...back behind the high school...at the back of...JERRY ASS TRICK's van. Yes, it was the first BC of the day! Classmates enjoyed Gluck and Point while listening to Cheap Trick. After becoming fashionably loopy, like all naughty school girls love to do, hashers followed trail through a desirable west side neighborhood, failing to stop at the elementary school to swing...er... I mean, play...er, I mean...have fun on the playground. The trail followed a treacherous path across Gammon Road and on-on to another family park, complete with the second JERRY ASS TRICK beer check. In route, COLONEL MUSTARD mistook a jogger for READY PRICK O WATT . After close inspection, the COLONEL realized his mistake and exclaimed, "She might be cute, but she doesn't have much of a pussy!" Hashers Milk Boneher and Three Banger were very tardy for the second beer check and spankings ensued. The hasher class of 2007 was very pleased to find out that after-school detention would be held at Capital Brewery. The cafeteria was serving sloppy joes, mac and cheese, pasta salad and puppy chow. The beverage of choice was, of course, Oktoberfest! Following lunch, ceremonies began with the hares and FRB's RETURN TO GENDER and HEAVY PETTING. The shitters were WET WILLIE and MR. RYTHYM. Never mind the piece of shit pen that NUTFARMER gave me to do the newsletter! CUMS & GOES, having just returned from the Interhash in Puerto Vallarta, became the class music teacher and taught us all the Peter Song (sung to the tune of the Oscar Mayer Bologna song)...

My boyfriend has a first name, it's P-E-T-E-R!
My boyfriend has a last name, it's P-E-N-I-S!
I love to eat him everyday and if you ask me why, I'll say...
Because Peter Penis has a way with my V-A-G-I-N-A.

Short cutters STROKES, CUMS & GOES, and AH SHIT were punished with down-downs of Island Wheat, as well as whiners BEER NUTS, #69, DEIGO FAYGO TGPS and NUTFARMER. JFLs were THREE BANGER, WILL HO and MILKBONEHER. Speaking of MILKBONEHER, NEW BOOTS JUST RUSTON and JUST PHYLLIS were made cum (after much licking!) by MILK BONEHER. LITTLE KAHUNA exclaimed that if MB had made cum just one more new boot, she'd have an ASS TRICK. Now wait! MB already has a (JERRY) ASS TRICK! DFLs were ASTI (SPEWAMOUNTIE), CRACK-HO, LITTLE KAHUNA and UNDERTOKER. RD look-a-likes, ROAD BEATER, MISDIRECTION and ZAMBONER continued music class with UT's interpretation of the Sex Pot song. READY PRICK O WATT and CRAP ON CRAP OFF received the doggie style award. The Beer Bitch and Drop Ass awards went to JUST WARREN. DRIBBLES IN received the auto hashing, JFL and DFL awards. Detention was ended by the Capital Brewery staff; the hasher class of 2007 realized that it might not be appropriate to loiter on school grounds late into the night.