Madison Hash House Harriers

January 5, 2008

HASH HISTORY - HASH RUN #1586 - The Snow Fairy Run and Weigh-In

There was plenty of snow for the 25 hashers who showed up at Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church on the near west side for ORAL DEATH's virgin hare run set with assistance from co-hare JELLY BOOBS. Since this was a virgin hare, there were a lot of malingerers hanging out in their snow fairy outfits, just waiting for that virgin thing to happen... the err, ahhh... you know... for the virgin hare to show up. OD eventually made a grand arrival and the pack was off through the neighborhood. After a brief jaunt on the streets, the trail headed onto the bike trail and into the woods behind Glenway Golf Course. After a clever backcheck the trail went up a rather steep embankment, past WILL HO's childhood home, and through the historic Civil War era Hillside Cemetery where DRIBBLES popped up out of nowhere. Coincidence? I think not. After crossing a portion of the golf course, the trail headed back into the woods and across the bike trail and up another steep hill to a beer check atop what will forever be known as WILL HO Make-Out Mound. For the whole time since the pack passed by WILL HO's old house earlier in the run, WH pointed out all the places she formerly used as make-out spots, especially one with a ceremonial stone ring atop a steep mound. About the point where she had provided enough detail that it had to be true, she noticed everyone was listening and immediately tried to discount her own story with a, “Oh, I think I'm confused.” After the beer check, everyone tumbled down the hill and headed for the Arboretum oak savannah and settling pond across Monroe Street. Everyone quickly discovered that the trail was on the streets heading past HARPO's house and back toward the start. Everyone, that is, except DRIBBLES, who took off into the woods and disappeared. There was a second beer check at the home of a friend of JELLY's, but not before a major snowballing took place in the front yard. After a significant amount of time, DRIBS showed up from his trek in the woods. The pack headed back to the start, and on to the On-On at ORAL DEATH's lovely home further west, near HEAVY BREATHER's place. The hares served plenty of beer and lots of lasagna to help the weight-changers get ready for the weigh-in. Everyone tested their weights as they ate and drank to bulk up. A rough estimate indicated that as a group, the participants put on a total of at least one standard HIMA before weighing-in. Ceremonies included the hares, FRBs SHOW ME and NOSTRA, SCBs ZAMBONER, KAHUNA and WILLHO, Hash Shits MILKBONEHER, X-PILES, RUDE YARD and BARELY, Whiners DIEGO, TINKLE TOES and FERGIE, JFLs DRIBS, RTG, AH and MR RHYTHM. Wrethched Excess went to READY, HIMA and STROKES, Seldom Seens were POOP EYE, KA KA, COW POKER, RUDE YARD and CUMS 'N GOES. New Boots were Just Jason made cum by ORAL DEATH, Just Patrice made cum by BEER NUTS and Just Scott made cum by Isthmus. Finally URINATOR and TINKLE TOES were awarded for going to Atlanta with EGG (URINATOR forgot his underwear), and the RD lookalikes were JERRY ASS TRICK and BEARABOOBS with ZAMBONER performing the sex pot dance. Congratulations to ORAL DEATH on her virgin haring!!!