Madison Hash House Harriers

February 9, 2008

HASH HISTORY - HASH RUN #1591 - Baby (Withered) Balls 50th

Reported by Eggbeater

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom
H.L Mencken

News of run #1591 or lack of news worth reporting. But first I must make amends for the guest Grand Master who with all the action of the ON IN forgot to give Mrs. Balls a down down for providing the hash with a hearty meal fit for Hash Titans who braved the weather to celebrate the Withered Balls birth date. The count of hashers numbered about five or six, but we did have two New Boots on the run plus the dual hares of Withered Ball's and Broken Rubber. The weather was fabulous for an early February Wizzconsin day. Cold and snowy, unlike other days in Wanakee it was the same old below normal temperatures for this part of the hemisphere. So there is not much to report about the run, guess Withered Balls with his new age and accompanying wisdom didn't figure out that bleached all purpose flour doesn't work when thrown on fresh virgin snow to mark a trail. One thing that was strange was seeing how excited Stiffy was playing with the Withered Balls joystick at the Red Barron's beer stop. Which reminds me of a quote by Cetewayo, the Zulu hero, who remarked that, "a jerk in the hand is worth two in the bush?" So that's about all I have to say about the run

OTHER HASH NEWS It was rumored that Share Me slinked off to the south of france to get married. What the hell, Nut Farmer and the Farm Tavern are not good enough for the big day, cum on. The hash family would have given you a day not soon to be forgotten. Drib's tries to prod the hash into uncovering his car at the Park & Ride for the cost of a Happy Meal from McDonalds, after he spent a billion dollars whoring, I mean educating the locals around the Dominican Republic for three weeks. Ya right Drib's, next time try beer! Clitigator shuns the Dems darling Obama for lack of heat (no global warming this week, sorry Carrot) and alcohol. To all political strategists if you want the "hash vote" - It's the beer stupid.

The ON IN held at the only biker bar in all of Wanakee complete with Harley memorabilia and true to life biker chic's was a stroke of genius, the hash gathered on the second floor of the bar. First thing I noticed was that the windows had no bars and there was a huge hole in the floor to the first level. Now to most this would not seem like a big deal, but I noticed the look of horror on Wire Nutz face when Fuze Blower started too disco clog with the Close Encounter communicator on the wall( I think she was trying to call home). Wire Nutz started to look for a seat belt but stools in biker bar's, unlike some of the more upscale bars in Madison are not so equipped. Which reminds me of why the heck Jerry Asstrick did'nt buckle Milkbonher into her kiddy seat at the last Packer game. Let this be a lesson to all! If you feel like fainting don't. So ceremonies where conducted by the great and robust orator Different Strokes. He was put on the spot by the great and robust Nut Farmer who failed to show up for the run and also for ceremonies because Show Me the Snake had another furnace emergency (Nut maybe you need to teach her how to Drive Miss Daisy so you will not have to neglect your hash responsibilities). The usual blah blah blah awards were given out to the appropriate hashers and the usual blah blah blah songs were song. Nice job Strokes! In post mortem I would like to send this out to the lovely and gorgeous Barmaid CANDY LIQUOR who made the hash feel at home and was very generous with her shots of CANDY. What a piece of excellent witchcraft she played on me!

Rondeau for a Barmaid

I know not which I love the best:
Your bartending or your sweet breast;
Your drinks or the curve of your throat.
My heart and liver you have smote;
This world is yours, I'm but a guest
Your grace and rum warm my chest
Which I love more I've not yet guessed.
Does pour or body get my vote?
I know not which.
After drink twelve my love doth crest
I want you mixing while undressed
'Pon your visage and booze I dote;
To which do my heart I devote?
By face or sprits am I blest?
I know not which.
-Drunk

So happy birthday Balls and I hope you will have many, many, more, just do not set any runs, get Ready, Road beater, Cow poker, Rude Yard, Beer Nuts or CoCo to do it for you or better yet just do the ON IN. Also Happy Birthday to Mrs. Crap On Crap Off thanks for keeping CoCo busy Saturday night. Hash winner: Moremen, charity activist Hash wanker: Zamboner, only way he can keep it up, is to freeze it!

Respectively submitted Egg beater ON ON to IH 2008 Perth!