Madison Hash House Harriers

March 29, 2008

HASH HISTORY - HASH RUN #1598 - The Virgin Hare Zero Waste/Waist Run and Hash Weigh-Out

About 30 hashers showed up on this "spring but not spring" day for BLOW WHOLE's virgin hare run that started at the Wenequa Park gazebo in Monona. MONKEY, LIKES IT and SOB were co-hares and advisors for this "green" run and BLOW WHOLE gave everyone a recycling sticker to wear. The trail started off meandering through the neighborhood and was well marked with white flour. This area has some streets that are off the grid and that follow the irregular lakeshore so many in the pack soon lost what little sense of direction they showed up with. The pack got spread out after a considerable distance of actual running and nearly circumnavigating around the start point, they found a well placed beer check in the back of a car in a parking lot. After the back of the pack caught up and everyone was well rested, the pack took off on the final leg of the trail that led the long way to the On-On at BLOW WHOLE's house near the start. BLOW WHOLE, with help from the accessory co-hare SOB, served plenty of beer and great food including a ratatouille and pasta, giant brownies, and creamy pudding and jello shots. All of this food played into the other event of the evening, the hash weight change weigh-out. There were only a few serious competitors who made the 7% change from the list of contest entrants. DRIBS was fourth and just made the 7% cut-off, SHOWME took third with a loss of 8.4%, AH SHIT was second with a loss of 10.3% and NUT FARMER took first place with a loss of 10.45%. In total there was a grand loss of about 3/4ths of a HIMA. The weight-out site was in close quarters to the buffet table and most of the crowd was watching the Badger NCAA hockey tournament so almost no one noticed when SHOWME weighed-out naked to maximize her loss, then pretended she couldn't get her clothes back on. NUT did the same and pretty much totally cleared the room. DRIBS got everyone's attention back though, by weighing out in his dainty, frilly women's black lace thong. Ceremonies had to be delayed until the hockey game ended with the Badgers winning and moving on to the second round of the NCAA tournament. This setup a bragging match between Badger fan, CO CO and North Dakota Farting Suzie fan, URINATOR. After the virgin hare and cohares were toasted, the usual suspects were brought up for down-downs. This included a few new boots, some seldom seens, the weight-changers, URINATOR as FRB comfortably slipping into the FRB shorts, and ORAL DEATH for a renaming to WORLD CLASS KNOCKERS or WCK. This renaming was celebrated by a contest to see who could remove WCK's leopard skin bra with just one hand. After several failed attempts by young guys to unhook the overly complicated fastening mechanism, ICUF stepped forward and just pulled the whole bra down to remove it. After a few more jell-o shots and beers, the crowd eventually filtered away. Hooray for BLOW WHOLE's fine virgin hare run!!!