Madison Hash House Harriers

April 5, 2008

HASH HISTORY - HASH RUN #1599 - The Virgin Hare - Double Birthday Run

About 27 hashers showed up for the second virgin hare run in a row. URINATOR and TINKLE TOES started their double birthday run at the dog park on Sycamore Street on the far east side. The weather was much more spring-like and many people wore lightweight gear for the first time this year. The trail started by circling the dog park and heading west into the woods for the first SC (shot check) with apple and grape Pucker. Many commented that the Pucker wasn't nearly as bad ad it has been in the past and it was speculatified that maybe they changed the recipe. While the pack malingered, a late arriving DRIBS called MONKEY's cell phone to find out where the pack was. And while all of that was going on, STIFFY noticed an Oscar Meyer sponsored soccer ball wedged in an upper tree branch. Quick as a flash he was up the tree to retrieve the ball. He knocked it loose and it fell to earth for the hashers to have their way with it. From here it was just a short distance across Sycamore Street and further east for the first BC set up by JERRY ASS TRICK in a park shelter. Everyone cheered for DRIBS when he appeared down the street in his effort to catch up. From this point the trail got serious and went on and on, mostly up hill, around all of the development in the area and up what must be the single longest, uphill sidewalk to nowhere in the city. It borders a multi-story apartment complex, starting below grade and rising so that you could look directly into the top story windows at the far end. After this there was a tiny bit of level ground before more uphill led to the second beer check near a park, across the street from GOLDEN SHOWER's house (DOESN'T CUM SHEEP's friend and former room mate). She, her husband and their child joined the pack for a beer. They're moving to Colorado and their house is for sale... so it was OK to reveal their connection to the hash. By this time several hashers had abandoned the trail and headed back to the start so they missed this beer check. When the back of the pack caught up, the trail continued through the neighborhood and back to the start. The On-On was at URINATOR's and TINKLE TOE's house near the start. The hares served plenty of great Tex/Mex food and had a fine choice of microbrew beers... and other alcohol. Ceremonies were conducted in the basement by by guest conductifier, CO CO. He called up the hares and co-hares TINKLE TOES, URINATOR, MILK BONEHER, JERRY ASS TRICK and READY, and other suspects for their appropriate awards. Other highlights were seldom seens GOOD IN THE SADDLE, TURD IN HAND and JERRY ASS TRICK, old man NOSTRADUMBASS wearing the FRB shorts pulled up to his chest, wretched excess for READY and SHOWME for running Black Earth, birthdays for TINKLE TOES, URINATOR and LIKES IT, and the grand finale of the first awarding of the "Stiffy Weiner Ball" to STIFFY for retrieving it from the tree. As ceremonies concluded and the drinking began... the drinking really did begin... when the hares broke open their liquor cabinet and the scotch began to flow. Another fine virgin hare effort so congrats to TINKLE TOES and URINATOR!!!