Madison Hash House Harriers

May 31, 2008

HASH HISTORY - HASH RUN #1607

With a tremendous amount of misplaced braggadocio, UNDERTOKER set a live hare run starting at Sheehan Park in Sun Prairie. UNDIE followed the first rule of haring, which we quote from The New Millennium Book of Hare Etiquette: "The Hare should never seek dignity, respect or self-preservation when hosting. The only objective should be the entertainment of his fellows." UNDIE followed this maxim exactly because he indeed made a fool of himself while amusing us. Thank you, UNDIE. It was great fun. Continuing on the false bravado theme, UNDIE bragged that this would be the first Hash cookout of the season... or, to the reality based hashers, the first outdoor hash cookout after the hash cookout on the previous week. UNDIE was unclear if this would be a Barbecue, Barbeque, Bar-B-Que or Bar-B-Q, all of which derive their origin from the word "barbacoa" or "sacred fire pit" from the Taino people of the Caribbean, influenced by Spanish explorers. The traditional barbacoa involves digging a hole in the ground and roasting a whole goat with hot coals. If it's one thing the hash needs is more goats. In his fit of overconfidence, UNDIE asked for just a 10-minute lead as he took off on his live hare route. After a reasonable wait the pack took off to follow the trail but has some difficulty finding the marks. UNDIE was using the RUDE YARD baby powder bottle method of laying marks so they were... what's that word... uh... dainty. Nevertheless (yes that's actually a real word - 18 points in Scrabble), the pack found their way around Sun Prairie even though they got more spread out as the trail progressed. Well into the route, the pack got split into several smaller groups that headed in different directions. The main pack found a beer check near a cemetery while two smaller groups found their ways back to the start but missed the beer check. SHOW ME saw the hare off in the distance peeking from behind a tree just before a small group of walkers found the great prize, they caught the hare. UNDIE was so concerned about watching his back that he forgot to watch where he was going. With a short burst of speed, ICUF and WIRE NUTZ caught him and took UNDIE's pants, which derives it's origin from the word "undiepants" or pants that are found in the hands of... oh let's say... ICUF, but previously found on something called UNDIE. As soon as the walkers made off with is pants, UNDIE started crying just like my elementary school friend Jimmy Butkoch after the bullies beat him up and teased him about his name. After a lot of whining and backtracking, the pack regathered at the park for the On-On cookout and picnic which derives it's name from blah, blah, blah... UNDIE provided burgers and fixins, potato salad and baked beans along with plenty of Leinies and Point beer. Ceremonies included several awards for the "live" hare, wretched excess for those who ran the Madison Marathon, CO-CO, BABY BALLS and maybe READY, toasting visitors GOLDEN SHOWER and WHIZ QUEEN from the Detroit-Ann Arbor Michigan hash, and a redo of ICUF's and COL's anniversary sweetheart song since ICUF was only available by phone in Alaska for their real anniversary on Syttende Mai.