Madison Hash House Harriers

August 16, 2008

HASH HISTORY - HASH RUN #1618 - The Annual Pornfest Run

CORNHOLIO started this year's Pornfest Run on the southwest side of Sun Prairie, and about 17 hashers showed up on this mild afternoon. The hare had beer available at the start so there was tremendous momentum to just stay and drink. Eventually the pack took off and soon found themselves off streets and into the shiggy... and surrounded by mosquitoes!!! CORNHOLIO announced that he and co-hare WET WILLIE found only two minor locations where the mosquitoes were bad. He assured everyone that they would be in the clear in less that a quarter mile. That assurance had all the veracity of a Texas Congressman. Despite the efforts of everyone to rush ahead, the mosquitoes remained relentless. So much so, that when the pack found the first beer check, they discovered that the mosquitoes had open the cooler and were about to start splitting beers. Most of the front runners just kept on going but fortunately, some of those at the back of the pack wrestled the beer away from the mosquitoes and moved it to a more open area where everyone could gather in safety... for a short while. Again the mosquitoes assaulted and the hashers had to counter with a moving beer check. The trail continued through shiggy and drainage ponds to a short stint on railroad tracks, then off into shiggy again where CORNHOLIO once again announced that they would be in the clear in less that a quarter mile. Nearly everyone fell for it and continued on to a second beer check under similar circumstances to the first. Eventually the trail came to an end and everyone headed off to CORN's house for the On-On. The hare plenty of beer, corn and grilled brats to go with the televised presentation of the women's Olympic marathon. Ceremonies were conducted after the marathon with the hares, CORN and WET WILLIE going first before the FRB HALF CRACKED and SCB STROKES. STIFFY and MR RHYTHM were the JFLs while the hash shit went to CORNHOLIO for the abundance of mosquitoes. WORLD CLASS KNICKERS was declared the whiner while DRIBS and LUCY BALLS were DFL. The sex-me-like-you-mean-it went to X-PILES and 3 BANGHER while the RD look alike went to NUT and of course LIKES IT. This was a relatively small group and for some reason they began to sing the hash songs with different interpretive styling like the hare song done in choral harmony, the urinal song done as an opera, the DOS song in barbershop quartet style and the jolly hasher song sung like munchkins from the land of Oz.