Madison Hash House Harriers

December 27, 2008

HASH HISTORY - HASH RUN #1637 - When Hell Freezes Over

About 15 hashers showed up for EGG BEATERS "When Hell Freezes Over" hash that started in the liquor store parking lot of Woodman's west. Among those present were BUSH WHACKER and BLOW PHISH who were visiting for the holidays. The pack took off in a few different directions but regrouped near the west side post office before heading up a steep hill of shiggy and losing STROKES, who thought he sniffed out a better trail. The trail continued looping west around WalMart where EGG had an impromptu alcohol check from a bottle with a name something like "Fire in the Hole" or some such. (Note: The back side exterior of WalMart at night in the snow/rain looks a lot like some imperial fortress from a science fiction movie.) STROKES rejoined the group as the trail headed back to Gammon Road and north toward West Towne. It was at this point that UNDERTOKER acknowledged that the artic pac boots he was wearing were good for the deep snow but lousy for running. After some "looking" the trail was spotted heading down a steep and muddy embankment, across the gargantuan parking lot and to a beer check at the new Granite City brewpub connected to West Town. Several non-running hashers including DRIBS, who seemed dressed for running, READY and WILL HO, already there enjoying some delicious beer. It's like a guy's dream, shop at Sears, stop at the brew pub, then head to the food court... and that's just where the trail went... through the mall and out to the back parking lot where the trail disappeared. After considerable looking, the trail was found heading deeper into mall land before disappearing once again. EGG eventually called everyone off the trail since a few people had to work the following week. He guided everyone to the second beer check at The Tilted Kilt where COK SHOP, RTG and STAIR MASTER showed up after walking from the start. It was also here that everyone noticed STROKES was missing once again. It's worth noting that the young ladies wearing the tilted kilts thought it was cute that old people were out running in the snow. Everyone headed back to the start and then to "The EGG's Lair" where EGG whipped up some tasty Spaghetti Bolognese along with cheesy garlic bread and a fine selection of beers. The quick consensus was that EGG should host every week if we can find someone else to set a decent trail. Although it was suggested that EGG should legitimately get all of the awards, ceremonies included everyone present, and some people twice, and maybe three time for BUSH WHACKER. Despite several attempts at calling his landline and cell phone, STROKES never reappeared.

STROKES' side of the story: Thanks for the phone call during the Hash Run Saturday. I got lost in the West Towne Mall parking lot chasing after a Three Holer look-a-like. I finally caught up to the guy and realized the mistake. I searched for Hashers and the trail and never found the flour. I jogged back to the car and explored along the way, I had a good time. I did wait at the car until 5:45, then went home and watched a video and worked on the Calendar. Sorry I missed the On In.

LORENA CARROT's response: Strokes, you are getting differenter and differenter? I sure hope you didn't run through the mall yelling "Threeeeeee Holeeerrrrr!" And I hope you don't start "seeing" and chasing after look-a-likes of other hashers. Egad.

UNDERTOKER's comments: That's not the entire story either. I was running (ha ha ha, isn't it funny how we use the word "running") with Strokes as we approached the mall, and clearly the Hashers had taken a muddy shortcut straight down a hill towards the Sears Parking Lot. The hash was in full view (or fully exposed if ya want to hallucinate). The usually prolific short-cutter Strokes, opted to go all the way down to the light at Odana and probably then waited until the light turned green, before turning into the mall. I think he had a new pair of shoes or a pretty little jacket that he was afraid would get all muddy if he fell going down the shiggy hill. In fairness though, the BC was in Granite City, and there was not a single flour mark indicating a BC was being held. In fact, if you combined all of the flour used on the entire 4 hour, 16 miles of the wet, raining hash, you could probably have baked a cookie.

STROKES' rejoinder: Let me please tell the whole story since I'm getting pooped on by my Hash Friends. To begin, Egg, to his credit, did corral me in when I got off course to start the run. Thinking back, it might have been better if he had let me run off to Elver. It would have prevented the later misery of trying to follow the trail. I was actually running a few times during the course of the trail, but I stopped to walk with my friend Undie because he wore these boots and his feet hurt. When we got to West Towne, he went down the hill and I began to circumvent the steep mounds of snow... but, I turned back and followed Undertoker down the hill. Of course, being a friend, he never looked back and took off as I slowly descended. In the distance, I thought I saw 3 Holer running along the front of the Mall and ran towards him and when I got to Granite City Brewery I lost track of him. He disappeared, I looked elsewhere, then returned and went into the GC Brewery. It was way to nice for any hashers, so I left and went around the mall looking for flour. There were no flour marks at the brewery. Undie was right, you couldn't have baked a cupcake with all the flour Eggy used. Thinking the trail went down Odana, I ran/walked down the road and went through the tunnel and back to the car. I was thirsty and checked everywhere along the way. I was very dehydrated and needed liquids badly. When I got back to Woodman's parking lot, I got some money and entered the liquor store and bought some Red Beer (Mike's), went home and watched Egg's Xmas video. It was terrible (the movie too) that I was abandoned, and even worst, I paid Hash Cash in advance, $5.00 bucks down the drain. Am I whining? I think not... just objective criticism. Thanks Egg, I had fun.