Madison Hash House Harriers

April 11, 2009

HASH HISTORY - HASH RUN #1652 - Braving the Cottage Grove Police State

STIFFY started his run at Fireman's Park in Cottage Grove on a fine spring day. About 25 hashers including a plethora (just a few short of a quethora) of new boots showed up on a cool, but pleasant day. After a thorough explanation of what marks might be found on the trail, the pack took off in a manner that seemed to indicate no one was listening to the instructions. The trail headed off on streets but soon led off-road into mild shiggy just beyond a "No Dumping" sign, to the discouragement of several potential dumpers present in the crowd. This soon led to a tiny shed with signage indicating it was "Fire Station C.G. 1" or the equivalent of "Don't F&#k With Me." The route continued through an athletic field and a few construction sites (in this economy???) before heading steeply uphill and over retaining walls consisting of h-u-u-u-g-g-e boulders. As the pack reached the top of this uphillageness, they found an interesting, wrought iron fence that appeared to go on forever. Several in the group carefully struggled to climb up and over the roman spear tipped, top of the fence, disregarding scrapes and cuts, while other, more experienced hashers, simply walked through the break in the fence intended for people to walk through. The trail ran parallel to the fence for a long distance before falling off onto the Glacial Drumlin Bike Trail heading out of town. This was just a short reprise before heading back into town and onto local streets where READY and RTG posed for pictures with a life-sized Easter Bunny. After a little more shiggy and some wooded trails, the trail led to a beer check out of the back of JERRY ASS TRICK's van. From there the trail included more streets, shiggy, and a splitting of the pack into those who followed the trail up hill and through wooded shiggy, and those who apparently strayed around the hill and through a backyard garden where local folks were attempting to grow some sort of vegetation that would eventually solve all the world's problems and create whirled peas... well, or so the screaming civilians would have had us think... The group that ran around the hill received a tongue lashing for trampling some plantings that were on land not clearly delineated as 'Private Property' in that it was clearly public land. When some one (possibly one of the new boots) responded with a comment about the pope, the civilians apparently called the police. This all led to an interesting phenomenon at the end of the run whereby two local police vehicles were on-site as hashers left the scene, yet the police did not appear to be interested in speaking to anyone until CAPTAIN KA KA was alone in the parking lot. He spilled all of the beans and received a severe "You have a good one sir!" as he left the scene. The On-On was at STIFFY's place where the hare served plenty of Point and Leinies, and huge, sliced sandwiches. CO CO and COWPOKEY led ceremonies that were highlighted by five new boots, Just Johna, a bartender at the Harmony, made cum by WILL HO, Just Jennifer2 and Just Michelle (who got named POPE BENT-A-DICK) made cum by RTG, and Just Marcella and Just Lysianne made cum by ULTRASMT. Ceremonies concluded with a fabulous 'Sex Pot' dance performed by WILL HO. SLOW HAND, who was not present at the run, later received a stern phone call warning him that someone would be watching for Cottage Grove hash activity in the future.