Madison Hash House Harriers

May 16, 2009

HASH HISTORY - HASH RUN #1657 and Syttende Mai

Three Mile Aid Station - There were around 20 aid station workers for the Syttende Mai 3 mile aid station including seldom seen HEAVY BREATHER. We had more than enough water glasses filled for the racers and the whole thing was over in plenty of time to make it to the...

Twelve Mile Beer Check - The beer check was a great success again this year. Probably due to RD's hot outfit of a red dress and other accoutrements, and JELLY's hot pleather outfit. Unfortunately there was no FISH WHACKER with tractor and manure spreader this year. SHOW ME, 3-HOLER and MR RHYTHM ran the water-to-beer route and AH SHIT and EGG BEATER biked it. The weather was perfect so the beer flowed well. The keg was killed due to the efforts of WILL HO, CRUSHED BOX and everyone else pushing the cause. And then...

Syttende Mai Run Results
NAME ==================== TIME ====== PACE
Cornholio -------------- 2:20:07 ---- 7:01
Ready Prick O'Watt------ 2:31:38 ---- 7:35
Half A Duck ------------ 2:54:19 ---- 8:43
Samori Sex ------------- 3:24:21 --- 10:14
Just Do Me ------------- 3:24:21 --- 10:14
Baby Balls ------------- 3:28:02 --- 10:25
Rack Em Up ------------- 3:38:34 --- 10:56

HASH HISTORY- RUN #1657 - The COLONEL Loses His Mustard - Reported by SHOW ME

About 10 Hashers showed for this post-Syttende Mai run, hared by COLONEL MUSTARD and cohare COWPOKER who was waiting at the start with a special WW2 helmet on his head. Most hashers were probably worn out from running that morning, manning the aid station or drinking at the beer check and didn't show up for the run. The run started at Mandt Park in Stoughton. This is the finish area for the Syttende Mai Race but all that remained was a big truck that was off-loading all the porta potties from the race course. The hares made the pack hunt for the start of trail (and for every mark thereafter) so the start was a little slow. Then finally the FRBs found a few marks in line, but the true trail headed off in a completely different direction. Almost from the start, the trail ran deep into the dark heart of the park, along winding woodsy trails, around ponds of stinky water and over an impossibly large wood heap (or giant beaver dam?) before emerging back into the light of day. There were many turns and twists, and changes of direction between each flour mark so the pack had to be careful and this did not bode well. Once the trail was safely back on the streets of Stoughton, it soon ended at a beer check at a friend's back yard in the center of town. There was no more set trail so the COLONENL left to set the rest of it "Live Hare" style. That's the last we saw of him. And the last we saw of the trail. And the last we saw of STIFFY and SLOW HAND as they took off ahead of the rest of the pack and soon disappeared. All the remaining hasher present in the pack searched mightily for a full hour, combing every street and crossing the river to search the far side. They thought they heard distant On-On but couldn't acquire the direction. The pack found one check mark but no other marks for for blocks around. Eventually they had to give up, head back to the cars and go to the COLONEL's place for the On-On. Shortly after the pack's arrival, the beer check truck returned with the hares and HERCULDA along with SLOW HAND and STIFFY who actually found the second beer check.Turns out, the hares had less than five pounds of flour for the whole trail, thus the long distance between marks. According to the COLONEL, the part of the trail that everyone missed was marked really well. Back at the welcoming house of ICUF and COLLONEL, the bulk of the day's Hashers were soon joined by an ever-swelling number of fair-weather hashers: The ones who came only to eat and drink. There was no disappointment or shortage of food: ICUF made plenty of pulled pork, beans and slaws, while various minor heroes contributed desserts... and there was beer coming out of the wall! Ceremonies were held on the deck and things started with the passing of the CoMaster stole from SLOW HAND to CO CO after a voice vote. Highlights thereafter were the hares and ICUF for all the great food, and wretched excess to everyone who ran the race including CORNHOLIO, BABY BALLS and READY, and everyone who ran water-to-beer including SHOW ME, MR RYTHM and 3-HOLER. SHOW ME also got super-double-triple wretched excess for running the hash run after completing water-to-beer. This year the cool weather encouraged most Hashers to head indoors while the tree burning was joined by a fully clothed group in the sauna, hot tubbing, and Highland Cattle-watching as the outdoor attractions of choice.